Friday, August 3, 2012

Video Game Curriculum? The Love to Learn Edition

I was asked to speak about video games and unschooling at the 2012 Love to Learn Conference.  This is an expansion of my previous blog on the educational merits of video games.  However, this post is merely a repost of my presentation slides.  For this reason, it might not flow as well as my other writing, or it may seem like some information is missing.  I hope it provides adequate information for those who were not able to make it to the conference but wanted to know more on the topic.

My child plays video games all day.  How will she ever learn anything?

nFirst ask yourself what you want your child to learn.  Are you concerned with content or the ability to reason and solve problems?  Do you see children as empty vessels or tabula rasas which we must fill with information, or do you see them as creative individuals capable of constructing their own set of knowledge?
nIf you, like John Dewey and other constructivists, see humans as “observers, participants, and agents who actively generate and transform the patterns through which they construct the realities that fit them,” then rest assured that your child is getting a much better education through her video games than she would in a classroom.
nIf you, like B F Skinner, are a behaviorist and believe the role of education is the transmission of a core set of knowledge from the teacher to the student, then your educational goals will probably be best met by the public education system rather than video games.

The Problem of Content
Or Constuctivism vs. Behaviorism

nStudies have shown that many college students who have passed their first physics class with excellent grades and can recite Newton’s laws of motion often fail to answer a simple question based on these laws of motion: “How many forces are acting on a coin that has been thrown up into the air?”
nThese “A” students claim that two forces are acting on the coin: gravity and the initial force of the toss.  Aside from the friction of the air, there is actually only one force acting on the coin while it is in the air: gravity.
nWhen the educational focus is on content the child is left with a lot of useless trivia that he cannot apply in any useful way.

What exactly is my child learning when he plays video games?

nSome skills a child learns while playing games are fairly obvious, such as reading, basic mathematics, map reading, resource management, economics, etc.
nSome games, such as BoomBlox and Tiger Woods Golf, incorporate physics into the game play.
nSome games, such as Age of Empires and the Total War series, are based on actual historical characters and events.
nSimulation games, such as The Sims and Civilization, use the same types of modeling that are used by real scientists.
MMO’s, such as WOW, LOTRO, and SW:TOR require a high level of teamwork and cooperation in order to be successful in the game.  In addition, these games usually require you to fill out applications and interview in order to be accepted into a guild.
nEvery well designed game teaches the scientific method.  The player encounters a new obstacle.  The player forms a hypothesis about how to get past the obstacle.  The player tests the hypothesis.  If the hypothesis is true, the player moves on.  If the hypothesis is false, the player forms a new hypothesis and then tests that hypothesis.
nWell designed video games also encourage goal setting.  Each player can make his own goals and define success on his own terms.
nIn order to know exactly what your child is learning from a particular game you either need to play the game yourself or watch your child play the game.  You have to look past the obvious skills and think about what other learning may be occurring.  This is true of all media – including books.

Learning Principles

n“Good video games incorporate good learning principles, principles supported by current research in Cognitive Science (Gee 2003, 2004). Why? If no one could learn these games, no one would buy them—and players will not accept easy, dumbed down, or short games. At a deeper level, however, challenge and learning are a large part of what makes good video games motivating and entertaining. Humans actually enjoy learning, though sometimes in school you wouldn’t know that.” – Dr. James Paul Gee

So what are these “good learning principles?” (From Dr. James Paul Gee – see For Further Reading)

nIdentity – “No deep learning takes place unless learners make an extended commitment of self for the long haul. Learning a new domain … requires the learner to take on a new identity” (Gee).  Games encourage the player to become committed to a new identity.
nInteraction – Games are interactive.  Nothing happens until the player acts.  Then they provide immediate feedback and new challenges.
nProduction – Gamers are producers that create their game experience through the actions they take.
nRisk taking – The consequences for failure are lowered.  The player is encouraged to take risks, and failure is often encouraged as a way to learn.
nCustomization – Players can often customize their game experience to meet their needs and ability levels.
nAgency – Players have a sense of control and ownership of their experience.
nWell-Ordered Problems – In good video games, problems are ordered so that earlier problems will lead players toward hypotheses that will help with later problems.
nChallenge and Consolidation – Good games give the player a set of challenging problems and lets him work on these problems until they have become routine.  Then the game throws the player a new challenge that causes him to rethink the strategy.
n“Just in Time” and “On Demand” – Good video games provide just the information that is needed when it is needed.
nSituated Meanings – Words have different meanings in different situations. “Games always situate the meanings of words in terms of the actions, images, and dialogues they relate to, and show how they vary across different actions, images and dialogues. They don’t just offer words for words” (Gee)
nPleasantly Frustrating – Good games provide just the right level of challenge – a state which is highly motivational for learners.
nSystem Thinking – “Games encourage players to think about relationships, not isolated events, facts, and skills” (Gee).   Players must think about how each action might impact future actions.
nExplore, Think Laterally, Rethink Goals – Linear thinking is often punished in good video games.  Lateral thinking is the type of thinking that is critical in today’s workforce.
nSmart Tools and Distributed Knowledge – In a video game, the virtual character is a tool and game knowledge is distributed between real people and virtual characters.  This is a key characteristic of the modern workplace.
nCross-Functional Teams – Often players must master one set of skills and learn how to coordinate that specialty with other players. This, too, is a component of the modern workforce.
nPerformance Before Competence – Due to supports, both in the game and in the gaming community, players can adequately perform before they are actually competent.

Won’t violent video games cause my child to become more violent?

nAccording to federal crime statistics, juvenile crime in the US is at a 30 year low (PBS, Eight Myths).
nChildren know the difference between fantasy and reality.  Studies have linked exposure to real life violence to more real life violence.  However, there is no proven link between imaginary violence and real life violence.
nClaiming that performing violent acts in a video game will lead to violent acts in real life is akin “to the claim that because I have planted lots of corn in Harvest Moon I will run out and plant corn in my back yard – in reality we have as little real corn from Harvest Moon as we have real killings from Grand Theft Auto” (Gee)
nPlaying violent games and watching violent movies does not desensitize us to real life violence.  Witnessing a violent crime in real life is still traumatic regardless of how many virtual crimes one has watched in various media.

What about games with “Mature” ratings?

nAs with all media, you must judge what your child is ready to handle.
nA child who is mature enough to play Halo may not be able to handle a similar game like Left 4 Dead or Resident Evil due to the manner in which the enemy is depicted.
nGames such as Dues Ex offer a level of moral ambiguity that mirrors the real world.  Sometimes the “good guys” aren’t really all that good.
nGames like Grand Theft Auto allow the player to experiment with morality in a way that would be unacceptable in the real world.  The player has the opportunity to determine what kind of thug he will be.
nThese types of games offer learning experiences that one can not have outside of the virtual world.  For example, in a game, you can kill someone and then later learn that you were on the wrong side of the battle. 
 

Aren’t video games socially isolating? (Statistics from PBS, Myths)

nAlmost 60% of frequent gamers play with friends
n33% play with siblings
n25% play with spouses or parents
nEven single player games are often played socially.  One player may hold the controller while multiple people collaborate over what the virtual character should do.
nAdditionally, gamers are members of vast online communities which participate in dialogues on many topics – not just video games.  The friendships created in the virtual world often extend to the real world through guild meet-ups and video game conventions such as E3 and PAX.

But I can’t get her to do anything else… I wish she would read more books.

nAt one time, parents made the same laments concerning novels that we hear today concerning video games.
n'Diana, you might take Anne out into the garden and show her your flowers. It will be better for you than straining your eyes over that book. She reads entirely too much' - this to Marilla as the little girls went out - 'and I can't prevent her, for her father aids and abets her. She's always pouring over a book. I'm glad she has the prospect of a playmate - perhaps it will take her more out-of-doors.' (Anne of Green Gables, Ch 12)
n'I think this story-writing business is the foolishest yet,' scoffed Marilla. 'You'll get a pack of nonsense into your heads and waste time that should be put on your lessons. Reading stories is bad enough but writing them in worse.' (Anne of Green Gables, Ch 26)

Imagine if video games had been invented before books…

n“Reading books chronically understimulates the senses. Unlike the longstanding tradition of gameplaying—which engages the child in a vivid, three-dimensional world filled with moving images and musical sound-scapes, navigated and controlled with complex muscular movements—books are simply a barren string of words on the page....
nBooks are also tragically isolating. While games have for many years engaged the young in complex social relationships with their peers, building and exploring worlds together, books force the child to sequester him or herself in a quiet space, shut off from interaction with other children....
nBut perhaps the most dangerous property of these books is the fact that they follow a fixed linear path. You can’t control their narratives in any fashion—you simply sit back and have the story dictated to you....
nThis risks instilling a general passivity in our children, making them feel as though they’re powerless to change their circumstances. Reading is not an active, participatory process; it’s a submissive one.”
(Steven Johnson, Everything Bad is Good for You)

How can I help my kids get the most out of their gaming experience?

nPlay the games yourself – How else will you be able to have a meaningful conversation with your child about the games? “Not learning how to play games would be akin to talking about The Lord of the Flies without having learned to read” (PBS, Literacy).
nWhen you converse with your children, relate the games to real world experiences and other media.  By doing this “we can cultivate pattern recognition across media platforms and parlay the problem-solving of gaming into the real world” (PBS, Literacy).
nEncourage your children to collaborate with others. “There has been a raft of research in recent years that extols the wisdom of the crowd and the logic of the swarm. Through collaboration and networking kids can learn to enhance their own perspectives, ideas and, perhaps, contribute to a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts” (PBS, Literacy).

For Further Reading

nDr. James Paul Gee:  Publications

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

A New Year...

Well, I have to officially start our new school year some time. It might as well be yesterday. I meant to start in June, but I was too busy doing things with my kids to actually keep records. That's sort of the irony of the situation. In order to take the time to jump throught the state mandated hoops, I have to not be working with my kids and facilitating their learning. I can either read another book to Abby OR I can take the time to document the 15 books I just finished reading to her. Ahh - record keeping - because I just don't have enough to do in one day...

Anyway, as for our first day of school, it went something like this:

Abby had stayed the night at a friend's house the night before, and pretty much spent the whole day there. Apparently, while she was there, she talked on the phone with another girl who couldn't believe Abby is just four. Later that night she made up stories and watched movies. She discovered The Pink Panther cartoons on Netflix and learned that some times you can tell a complete story without words.

Toby set off on his European adventure. He was a great bundle of anxiety for most of the morning, complete with lack of appetite, nausea, crying, complaining, etc. However, once he learned he was going to be sitting next to his buddy, he suddenly perked up, and almost went throught the security gate without saying goodbye. He learned about air travel, airport security, jet lag and how time zones really work, and how to pack for an over seas trip.

Trevor endured the airport for a little longer than he could tolerate, but later agreed it was worth it in order to get to go to Discovery Place. He thoroughly enjoyed the exibit on marine archeology. However, he was less than tolerant of people who stood in front of him when he was trying to watch the documentary on the recovery of the SS Republic. Afterwards, he told me that it would be cool to work for Odyssey Marine. Now as I'm sitting here, I'm wondering if he made the connection between this company and one of his favorite works of literature. I'll have to put that one on my list of topics to discuss with Trevor. He'll think it is pretty cool when I tell him about it. Anyway, I digress....

Elsewhere in Discovery place, Trevor explored all kinds of simple machines and explored the circus exibit. After waiting in line for over half an hour, he finally was able to get a harness for the tight rope. However, when he climbed the stairs the woman at the top marched him right back down. She claimed he wasn't old enough to walk the tight rope. The minimum age is seven. Trevor will be nine next month. She claimed he couldn't possibly be over seven because he didn't know what grade his is in. I think she felt a little silly after I explained that he isn't in any grade. After I explained to Trevor that she wanted to ask him some questions to be sure he is able to communicate well enough to maintian his safety on the tight rope, he relaxed a little bit. Up until this point, he was a bit confused about why he was not yet walking across that wire in the sky. The woman then went on to ask him what his favorite school subject is - yet another question he could not answer. After a bit more stumbling, she finally came across an appropriate question: "What do you like to do all day?" Trevor responded by explaining his favorite video game. When it finally became clear to him that this lady would never be able to grasp the intricacies of Heroes V, he finally ended with "It's complicated."

In the end, Trevor did get to walk the tight rope, and he enjoyed it immensely. Through the experience, and even now in retrospect, I am still trying to wrap my head around the irony of the situation. My son can recount the plot line of Homer's Odyssey. He can classify levers by type. He understands the role of pistons in an internal combustion engine. He knows what a cartouche is. Yet, some random stranger made a judgement of his maturity and communication skills based on a few banal questions about school. There is now one more person out there who is convinced homeschooling is a bad idea because she didn't know how to ask the right questions.


Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Personable

per⋅son⋅a⋅ble [pur-suh-nuh-buhl]
–adjective
1. of pleasing personal appearance; handsome or comely; attractive.
2. having an agreeable or pleasing personality; affable; amiable; sociable.

A few days ago, Abby had a friend over for a play date. She was being especially nice to her guest, and I commented on how nice she was being. She looked up at me with a very sincere expression and told me "I enjoy being personable."

I'm not really sure where she learned the word. It's not one I use. I guess I'll just chalk it up to Pinky Dinky Doo.

Friday, April 24, 2009

A perfect evening...

This evening after Abby finished dance class, she and I stopped by the recycling center. She was quite pleased with herself as she helped me sort our recyclables into the correct bins.

Once we completed our sorting, we headed over to Lowe's to pick up some variegated liriope. It seems luck was with us tonight, because the racks of clearance plants were packed full. In addition to the six liriope we chose, we also brought home one indian hawthorn, two yellow jasmine, one petunia, two heather, and four columbine. We already had three lavender plants at home that needed to go in the ground. At six o'clock in the evening Abby and I began our race with the sun to get 19 plants in the ground before dark.

While we were playing in the dirt, Trevor decided to grace us with his presence. After admiring the four plants we had already placed in the ground, he decided his super soaker water gun would be the best way to water these new plants. He soon became my taskmaster as he urged me to "dig faster" and "hurry up and get that plant in the ground" because each plant I finished was a new plant he could blast with water. During his over-zealous watering spree, he managed to spray me in the face with a blast of cold water. He quickly acquired a pair of shoes so he could change to a position that did not include me in his line of sight.

As soon as Abby realized I needed a water hose to water the new plants, she immediately ran upstairs and woke her daddy up (who is working third shift this week) so he could get a hose for me. After I placed the sprinkler on the hose it did not take long for Abby and Trevor to start playing in the water. Their mirth bubbled over as they ran and bounced through the muddy flower bed in the spring twilight. The sun finally won the race, and I had to admit defeat less than halfway through our planting frenzy.

After cleaning the tools and children, we had a tasty dinner of tortellini. By this time it was 10pm and time to see Charles off to work. Trevor remained outside in the driveway performing a bit of impromptu martial arts choreography which included a six foot long stalk of bamboo that I did not want in the house, as he had been dismayed to discover earlier.

With the kitchen clean and kids happy, I settled onto my porch swing with a cup of chai and the hardbound copy of Rilla of Ingleside I had acquired a few days earlier from our public library. It wasn't long before Abby joined me on the swing with her own book - Dora the Explorer Subtraction with a magic decoder to reveal the answers. When she tired of this, she brought out her Kumon Stick and Paste book. Time passed quickly and pleasantly as I cut and she glued on over twenty pages of her book. I was quite surprised to discover it was after midnight when Toby joined us outside to have a chat about Pokemon and other things of interest to him.

Soon it was one o'clock and Abby was starting to get frustrated with her gluing, so Toby and I helped her clean up her work, and I tucked her in bed while I reflected on the perfectness of this evening.

Friday, April 3, 2009

In Honor of Abby's Fourth Birthday...



I hope you enjoy watching Abby's life unfold as much as I have. Abby watched this video seven times the day I finished it, and she watches it in the car when we run errands, so I think it is safe to say she is pleased with her birthday present.


I had to compress the video file to fit within Blogger's 100mb limit, so I appologize for any audio/video quality issues.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Demolition Man

In our home learning tends to occur 24/7/365, and more often than not, our children learn many practical skills that are outside the scope of a traditional school program. This week was no exception.

The whole thing actually started yesterday as I was peeling wallpaper off the kitchen wall. Trevor joined in and scraped right along side.








After scraping for a while, we came across a small hole in the wall, so we decided to make it bigger.

Trevor really enjoyed the prospect of knocking down a wall, so today we decided he could go ahead and knock the whole thing down.
As he was working, Trevor repeatedly shouted, "Let's tear it down!" in his best rumbly voice. He informed me that he got this phrase from his new favorite show - Trick My Truck.

Trevor hammered and demolished to his heart's content. After knocking down the plaster, he started talking about knocking down the chimney that was hidden behind the wall. I had to chuckle when I heard Charles say, "Don't worry Trevor, I won't knock down the chimney without you." I wondered how many other eight year olds hear their dad say a phrase like that.


Today Trevor learned to safely take down a wall. On a future day he plans to help us put the new walls up. I wonder how many other children can list wall demolition and kitchen remodelling among the skills they learned in the third grade.








Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Chore lists...

Charles called from work this morning to see how my day was going, as he usually does. I use the term morning loosely. It was actually just after noon, but we were all still in bed, so I'll call it morning.

I told him my plans for the day (remove wallpaper), and we talked about the two closets we plan to build upstairs, as well as a few other things that need to be done around our house. Apparently, Abby heard me talking about getting up and getting to work because I heard her little voice from her little mattress on the floor next to my bed. "Mommy, don't step on me."

By the time I was finished talking to Charles, Abby was ready to get up and get started with her day.

"Mommy let me tell you my chore list. Take a bath." She said this while holding the index finger of her left hand. "Eat." Middle finger. "Can we go to the zoo, mommy? 'Cause this one is go to the zoo." Ring finger. "Those are my chores for the day."

My kids see me make lists with my fingers almost daily. I do it when I go to the store. I do it when I pack. Most of all, I do it when I think about the things I want to accomplish in a day. They see this. They see me make goals for the day. They see that I don't always accomplish everything I set out to do. However, they mostly see that I am approaching my daily work with a positive attitude.

My chore list is a list of the work I want to do in a given day. Chores are not horrible things to be avoided. Instead, chores are those things you do because you want to do them in order to make your life a little bit better.

I'm happy to see my kids are getting this message.

Personal Rights

Trevor: Abby, please be quiet - I'm trying to sleep.

Abby: Mommy, tell Trevor I can sing however I want.

Me: Abby, your rights end where his begin. You can sing however you want in a different room. Trevor has the right to quiet.

Abby: No, he has the wrong to not be loud.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Studies show...

A few nights ago, as Toby, Charles, and I were watching television, a Stouffer's commercial came on that I found a bit perplexing. The commercial claimed that "studies show that children who eat dinner with their families are more likely to feel that their parents are proud of them." Of course, the commercial implies that if you cook Stouffer's meals for your kids it will boost their self esteem, which is completely ludicrous. The statement in this commercial also implies that if your family doesn't sit down at the table and eat dinner together you must be a bad parent.

Because of the causality implied in this statement, I wondered how eating together could possibly make a child think his parents are proud of him. I could see a correlation between the amount of time you spend with your children and the perception they have of your view of them, but I could not fathom the causation that this commercial implies. How can "my mom ate lasagna with me" possibly equal "my mom is proud of me"? Then it dawned on me - in a traditional family dinner is often the only time children spend with their parents.

In an unschooling family such as ours, where everyone eats what they want, when they want, it can be rather difficult for the whole family to eat the same thing at the same time. Our children are encouraged to self regulate their own food intake and listen to their bodies' signals. Requiring children to wait for meal times to eat and to eat at meal times even if they are not hungry often leads to obesity and/or eating disorders later in life.

I just polled my children to find out if they think I am proud of them. They all feel I am proud of them, and we did not eat dinner together tonight. I hope they know I am really proud of their decision making skills and independence of thought.

"Studies show..."
"Studies show anything," as Charles says.

And -
"Commercials are crap," Toby reminds me.

I guess he does listen to me after all.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Teaching Mommy to Count

Tonight I decided to expand my knitting abilities beyond the basic garter stitch. I learned to knit over two months ago, and it was definitely time to progress. So I learned how to purl. This expanded my knitting repertoire considerably. I practiced a few rows of my trusty garter stitch. I followed this with my my newly learned stockinette stitch. Finally I was ready to attempt the rib stitch.

That's when it happened.

Abby was sitting beside me playing a computer game as I quietly counted under my breath: knit 1, knit 2, purl 1, purl 2, knit 1, knit 2, etc. After a short while, I started to notice that Abby was periodically saying "three" quietly under her breath. This went on for for a little while longer until Abby, in total exasperation, looked at me and said, "After two comes three, mommy."

Monday, December 29, 2008

Baking Cookies at Midnight

Sometimes it's brownies at 11 pm. Sometimes it's cookies at midnight. Sometimes it's chocolate milk at 1 am. Sometimes it's a sandwich at two. Sometimes I'm so tired I just don't think I have anything left to give, but I manage to dig down deep for the energy to do that one more thing I need to do for them before I go to sleep.

Life wasn't always like this. Once upon a time I would have told them it was too late, and they should have eaten more of their dinner. Then I heard Dianna Jenner's story. A couple of years ago her daughter, Hannah was diagnosed with cancer. A few days later, she was dead.

Anytime I have to clean up one more toy, wipe up one more spill, fix one more sandwich, I think of Dianna. She would give anything to be able to clean up one more mess or fix one more sandwich at 2 am. I realize how lucky I am to have that paint spilled all over the floor and those crumbs on the couch. It just means I have children in my life. I don't have to clean their messes - I get to clean them.

If I were to find myself standing in Dianna's shoes, would it matter how polite and well behaved my children were? What would I miss? What would I regret? I have a feeling I'd miss baking cookies at midnight.

Monday, November 17, 2008

The Power of a Song

It's amazing that something as seemingly simple as music can have so much impact in our lives. Pop in Def Leopard or Bon Jovi and I'm instantly in middle school again. Pearl Jam, Tom Petty, and the Chili Peppers conjure images of my college days. A song carries with is so much more than just some lyrics and some instruments. For most people, a song can bring back memories that were long forgotten. In some cases a song heard when one is at a crossroad can have the power to change lives.

Flowers are Red
by Harry Chapin

The little boy went first day of school
He got some crayons and started to draw
He put colors all over the paper
For colors was what he saw
And the teacher said..
What you doin' young man
I'm paintin' flowers he said
She said... It's not the time for art young man
And anyway flowers are green and red
There's a time for everything young man
And a way it should be done
You've got to show concern for everyone else
For you're not the only one

And she said...
Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than they way they always have been seen

But the little boy said...
There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one

Well the teacher said..
You're sassy
There's ways that things should be
And you'll paint flowers the way they are
So repeat after me.....

And she said...
Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than they way they always have been seen

But the little boy said...
There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one

The teacher put him in a corner
She said.. It's for your own good..
And you won't come out 'til you get it right
And are responding like you should
Well finally he got lonely
Frightened thoughts filled his head
And he went up to the teacher
And this is what he said.. and he said

Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen

Time went by like it always does
And they moved to another town
And the little boy went to another school
And this is what he found
The teacher there was smilin'
She said... Painting should be fun
And there are so many colors in a flower
So let's use every one

But that little boy painted flowers
In neat rows of green and red
And when the teacher asked him why
This is what he said.. and he said

Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen.

A few years ago, when my oldest son was in the fourth grade, we were having a really hard time with his teacher. She believed in conformity, only she called it "community." She didn't seem to appreciate Toby's own personal drummer. In fact, she seemed downright determined to bash that drum into oblivion. I came to a point when I realized this was not a good environment for Toby to be in, but I thought maybe we could make it to the end of the year. I was dealing with a good bit of inner turmoil centered on balancing my commitments with my son's needs.

In the middle of all of this turmoil, a friend sent a copy of Harry Chapin's lyrics to me. When I read the final verse, I was crushed. I realized the damage that my son was enduring could become permanent. I realized his needs vastly outweighed any commitments I believed I had. First and foremost, my commitment was to him. I turned in my resignation and his withdrawal the next day.

Two years later, I am still trying to undo the damage a little bit each day. Just today, I had to remind him that I actually want his opinion when I ask him a question, rather than what he thinks I want to hear. I get a little more of my boy back each day. I'm just glad I was able to change his environment while he could still see most of the colors.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Living and Learning Together

This month, like so many others before, is speeding by. September has been a great month full of many quiet moments and fun adventures.


Trevor pulled out a pin map, and we spent one afternoon attempting to label Australia and Oceania.


We gave up when we got to the tiny islands.





Abby tried to figure out how to play Bakugan.



Trevor created a new use for the Lord of the Rings Risk pieces.





Apparently television remotes make excellent fortress walls when accompanied by a plastic volcano.


Charles and Abby bonded over a game of Strawberry Shortcake.
"Can you get that key, Daddy?"



Charles and Trevor attended a cookie decorating funshop at the Live and Learn Conference.




Abby explored the creek at the Blue Ridge Assembly. It was a lot of fun to watch leaves and twigs float down the mini waterfalls.







Trevor made some new friends.




Toby helped the younger kiddos smash bananas for nitrogen ice cream.



Abby somehow managed to fall asleep in the gaming room at Live and Learn.



Imagine four different groups of people all playing Rock Band at the same time. Throw in a couple of laptops running various video games and several groups of kids playing Yu-Gi-Oh!
Oh to be three...



Abby and her friend, Carmella, preformed their version of a play. It was something about a princess and a maraca playing dragon, but the play was greatly lacking in dialogue so I was never able to actually figure out the plot.



Trevor looked out across the Blue Ridge Mountains from the top of Chimney Rock.


I experienced a few nervous moments as Charles helped Abby walk along a wall on the edge of a mountain. It's scenes like this that show what a really great dad he is. Instead of tearing the kids down with "No", he empowers them by helping them do dangerous things more safely.




Monkey see, monkey do.




Trevor experienced a real waterfall for the first time.




Not to be outdone, Toby also made a trek to the base of the waterfall.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Bring Up A Child...

I recently had several conversations with various people about hobbies and activities. Specifically, what is a valid way for an individual to invest his time and money? I've met many parents who feel the need to control this aspect of their children's lives. They assign various values to various activities based on their own interests and experiences. They usually devalue their children's interests as a waste of time simply because they do not enjoy the activity and do not see its value.

While pondering this issue of activities of activities and their value, I recalled the verse: "Bring up a child in the way he should go, and he shall not depart from it." This means many things to many people, but I believe most people miss the true meaning of the phrase "the way he should go." Some people interpret it to mean "the way you want your child to develop". Some people think it means "with a good moral background". Some see it as a call for firm discipline. All of these interpretations could lead to rebellion, and therefore cannot possibly be the true interpretation of this phrase. In order for the interpretation to be correct, it must be true 100% of the time.

A wise person I once knew provided the only interpretation for the phrase "the way he should go" I have ever heard that is valid 100% of the time. He said you could replace this phrase with "according to his bent". This is a woodworking phrase. It basically means when you carve a piece of wood, you have to work with the bends, not against them, or your finished piece will not be as beautiful as it could have been. How does this relate to children? Each child is an individual with a unique path in life. You cannot choose this path for your child. You cannot define success for your child. If you force your child to do the things you think he "should" do, the person he becomes as an adult will not be as beautiful as he could have been. Instead, model the qualities you would like your child to have, such as kindness and helpfulness, rather than force them. Let him decide what is a valid use of his time based on his own interests. Bring him up on his own path - not the one you create for him. If it truly is his own path, he will not depart from it.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Back to School

It's back to school time for most of the kids in our area. However, my kids scarcely notice as they continue with their perpetual summer vacation. We do notice the neighbors can't play because they have homework, and we also notice we are suddenly getting questions and strange looks from shop clerks who have sent their kids back to school already. Most of all, we notice the places we love to go, such as EdVenture and the aquarium, aren't quite as crowded anymore.

A child starting kindergarten today will spend approximately 2,300 days confined to a classroom. Considering this child has only been alive for about 1,800 days so far, this is more than an entire lifetime for a five year old. Once that child has survived over 14,000 hours of institutionalization, he will move on to four decades of work followed by a brief retirement. He will spend the vast majority of his life, like so many other people, trying to get "there," never realizing there is no "there" to get to, and in his pursuit of this mystical goal, he will not have the chance to enjoy the journey.

I've come to the sudden realization, that we should not ask a child what he wants to be when he grows up. Instead, we should ask what he wants to be today. It is during the unscheduled time when a child is allowed to be what he wants to be today that he will discover who he truly is. During this journey of self discovery, you can rest assured the child will aquire the knowledge he needs to be who he is. With this in mind, I am off to the aid of a wise wizard, a brave knight, and a fair maiden of surpassing creative abilities.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Time to Breathe

We are finally starting to come out on the other end of an entirely over scheduled summer. I know this is my own fault. I didn't want the kids to miss out on anything. I failed to take into account the unexpected in my planning.

We started June at a full run by having our roof redone, during which time it rained inside my house due to a faulty tarp on a partially clad roof. While this project was going on, the kids attended Zoo Camp, I damaged the ligaments in my ankle when I fell down the stairs, and my 10yo had a friend visit for a week. Since the roofing crew was family, they stayed at our house during this time, also. Just as the roof was finished and the friend went home, we had a visit from some friends we haven't seen in a while. This was followed by art camp for my 7yo, which prompted me to learn to drive with my left foot. I ended June by ripping out all of the carpet in our house to uncover not-so-beautiful wood floors. We also decided to play musical bedrooms for the third time in less than a year. This time we moved the boys downstairs and decided to convert the entire upstairs into a fabulous master suite, which is far from fabulous right now.

We started July with a bang - literally. We attended an awesome fireworks show at the home of the Del Rossi family. We followed this by a visit from a friend and her four children, as well as my niece, who was attending camp at EdVenture while my 10yo was in camp at the Art Museum. At this point, we are still in the middle of switching bedrooms and refinishing floors. Immediately after our guests departed, we began to pack for our trip to Sea World. Our time in Florida turned out to be pretty great! In addition to not having to wait in line for any of the rides at Sea World, we also had the opportunity to visit the Worlds Largest McDonald's Playplace - imagine McDonald's, Chuckie Cheese, an ice cream shop, and Panera all rolled into one place. After our trip to Florida, we had a few days to recuperate before a camping trip on Lake Moultrie. After the camping trip, my 10yo decided to stay behind with his grandparents, and the rest of the family went home to begin refinishing a heart pine floor covered in mastic.

It's August now, and my 10yo is home and the floor is almost finished. Both boys have birthdays this month, and the Live and Learn conference is getting closer. At this point, I'm just looking for time to breathe and a little calm in the midst of chaos before we dive back in and move on with our crazy life. Would I trade any of the chaos of this summer? No, I enjoyed every minute of it. OK, well maybe not the parts where it rained inside my house and I injured my ankle, but the rest I'll keep.